In a Smile
Of all the exquisite and the mesmerizing things that can be said about the beauty of a woman. About eyes as deep and wild as the Mediterranean on a stormy night, or of the creamy delicacy of her skin. About her faintly rouged cheeks, or of the element of subtle excitement filling her every move up to the tips of her rose-painted nails. Of all these little pleasures that tickle my heart at the sight of a beautiful woman, her laughter, alone, is what melts my heart like a fine piece of Brie.
That little sparkle in her eyes as she turns to you unexpectedly, sparks a fire in my heart that would last me many winters. The little tremors at the edge of her mouth, up to the tip of her nose, make my knees tremble and my heart dances like a million Alexis Zorba.
***
It was little after 8, I had finished my laborious Arabic class, and all I wanted was to smoke a quiet cigarette and listen to the random tunes of the band playing in the little plaza in Sakae. I sat down in utmost solitary while the whole of Nagoya was bustling around. A random smile, on the most beautiful face of the most perfect stranger, was all that I remember from that beautiful summer night.
***
At my 22, I am still as puzzled and inconsistent as I remember I was on my first day of school.
It was not scary, nor abhorrent, I remember. All I could think of, as my mom walked me to school that day, is that I will be doing this same thing for many more years than I could actually count on my fingers.
But for the next three years, I woke up everyday early morning, put on my brown uniform and hurriedly crossed the street to the little school near my grandparents house. Because she’ll be there in my desk with her funny ponytail and her exquisite smile will say “Sabah al-Kheir” and go on telling me how easy yesterday’s math assignment was.
***
Ever more, I grow detached to everything and everyone around me. I grow restless of my dreams, and desires, and fonder of my passions. I grow further apart from my home, and closer to those random strangers whom I’ve met, and will meet, somewhere over a glass of wine and danced with till the wee hours of the dawn.
***
In August, I fly to Korea.
May 26th, 2009 at 10:53 am
My dear Yazan
At 22 you are already growing further apart from your home. That is something to ponder seriously.
At my 22, I walked so much in these same shoes of yours. I remember those days as if they happened last week.
I’m older now, balder, fatter… but amazingly as sharp as ever. As full of passion as the first day I touched a woman in the dark of night.
I was talking about you today, less than an hour ago, to the one person in this entire world who is closest to my heart, who dwells in my soul. And, you just proved me right.
Take care of yourself!
May 26th, 2009 at 11:03 am
“and dance with till the last moments of the dawn.”
Something you do oh so well ya Yazan.
May 26th, 2009 at 11:08 am
Yazzoun,
“I grow restless of my dreams, and desires, and fonder of my passions”
Very nice!
But can you give me an example of each? … a dream, a desire, and a passion of yours.
May 26th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
Ahh a man who dances… am I allowed to flirt?
May 26th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
Written as only you can, Yazan…absolutely beautifully.
May 26th, 2009 at 8:07 pm
Abu Fares,
Don’t get me wrong, I am bound to that place with my passions, by virtue of it being the first place I set foot in, the language I learned to laugh in, and the sea where I learned to swim, and that’s something that will never change, nor do I have a desire for it to. But, these are very personal feelings, on the wider scale, everytime I go back there I feel a bigger distance between me and the actual land and its people, I feel much more at home with those random people that I meet here and there than with my countrymen.
Ya Abu Fares, if, by the time I am your age, I still have half the passion, wisdom and youth that you have, I’d consider myself a very lucky lad. And if, by that time, I come to find that special lady to dwell in my soul, I’d say I lead a rather good life.
And, ehm, I proved you right? ;)
May 26th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
Jillian,
I had a wonderful partner, that’s all. Come fast, we’ll run around and cause havoc on Osaka streets…
May 26th, 2009 at 8:13 pm
Alex,
An example?
A dream of spending my late years in a little secluded house overlooking the mediterranean and the pine forests of Kasab. A desire? for success… Passion? ahhh, that of walking anonymously in strange cities and dine with people that I would never meet again.
May 26th, 2009 at 8:14 pm
Katia,
Ahh, won’t you please do? :)
“Never trust a man who does not dance, or a woman who does not laugh.”
A little piece of wisdom passed down from my old man.
May 26th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
Maria,
Your visits never fail to leave me with me with a dizzying scent of Jasmine. I’m glad you liked it.
May 27th, 2009 at 4:23 am
Well, I wanna dance the night away with you… while laughing :-)
May 27th, 2009 at 5:55 am
You’re offer just put Brussels as the first city I will visit when I get to Europe. And sure enough, I will take you up on that.
May 28th, 2009 at 5:42 am
And I’ll keep my word ;-)
May 28th, 2009 at 7:22 am
And I will be checking Brussels flights. ;)
May 30th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
:)
At 29 I’m still as detached from the homeland as ever. And you know what’s scary? I don’t feel like I’m missing much.
June 27th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
Well I feel I have an issue here!!.
I’m 24 years old and all I want is to back again on my Bike and drive all the way of Aleppo, which is MY CITY, but anomie is invading my consciousness every day.
I say tomorrow I will get on my bike and reattach to what I like, its been six years of my last ride!, it’s like the kid inside me never want to grow up.
December 3rd, 2009 at 1:09 am
Thank you,
very interesting article