Blogging Week for Moral Decay – أسبوع التدوين للإنحلال الأخلاقي
I’ve been away for too long indeed. Long enough to have missed the glorious festival of the “Blogging Week Against…” I shall catch up!
Since I am, as apparent in all my 2 cheerful posts since 2005, a very positive person, I will be manipulating the title into “Blogging Week for…” This week’s cause will be Moral Decay (أسبوع التدوين للإنحلال الأخلاقي).
Furthermore, since you and I know how little online campaigns do, my suggestions are to be applied in real life.
On the first day of the Blogging Week for Moral Decay, you shall buy a rock and roll album (preferably Are You Experienced? By Jimi Hindrix), and one of them evil devil-worshippers heavy metal (Say, Sabbath Bloody Sabbath). Get your iPod on, let your hair down, make your red underpants very visible and then go have a little walk.
On the second day of the Blogging Week for Moral Decay, you shall grab a hot tea thermos, a Labneh sandwich and some dessert for your outdoor breakfast at the lovely little park down the road. Make sure to smile back at the gloomy faces of people spitting on your footsteps for breaking your fast a little too early.
On the third day of the Blogging Week for Moral Decay, you shall skip school and stay home enjoying the vast porn directory on the internet. Your plan for the day should include nothing but long sessions of Masturbation. Do get some sleep and some food in between these sessions. However, you are not to go to sleep at the end of the day until your palms start growing hair.
On the fourth day of the Blogging Week for Moral Decay, you shall rest from yesterday’s exercise with some Arak (or your choice of hard liquor).
On the fifth day of the Blogging Week for Moral Decay, you and your girlfriend/boyfriend (Whom you are not to be married to!) shall have to experiment with BDSM, role playing, threesomes, foursomes (or your choice of sexual fantasy).
On the sixth day of the Blogging Week for Moral Decay, you and your girlfriend/boyfriend (Whom you are not to be married to!) will have to go to that same park down the road and make out until your balls turn dark blue, then repeat yesterday’s suggestions.
On the seventh day of the Blogging Week for Moral Decay, you shall pretend that you are God and rest. (Preferably with a joint of the finest Beqaai hashish). And then proceed to blog about your week, under the influence.
Now tell me my dear fellow bloggers-who-oh-love-blogging-weeks-so-much: How’s that for sticking my morals up your anus.
Disclaimer: I personally have done every single one of these at least once in my short life on this planet, and I stand by every word here in both its literal and sarcastic sense.